After we released our “TSEF is Cancelled” episode I felt I wanted to write something as a follow up that is honest, unfiltered and completely me. Since our episode came out, I’ve had many conversations with listeners clarifying and explaining my point of view. I’ve had many responses, some agreeing with me, some not, and I think the best final step would be to take a page from J.K. Rowling’s book (pun intended) and write about it. (Don’t expect the same caliber of writing, but that seems like it should be obvious!)
My 2020 Self
I wish I could say that I had been aware of this topic long before J.K. Rowling started talking about it, but the truth is that I had no idea. I was never really glued in online, as Pools and Kenz constantly point out when I don’t understand their internet references. I was mildly tuned into the Potter fandom in the 2000s before Deathly Hallows was published. I posted occasionally on the Leaky Lounge and was a regular PotterCast listener, attending two live shows when they were in Los Angeles or San Diego. I had a Twitter account, but the only thing I used it for was getting text message alerts from a 40404 number when J.K. Rowling tweeted.
Around the end of 2019 I realized that I could connect with other Strike fans online to discuss these books that I was growing increasingly obsessed with. During the pandemic in 2020, it became a place of community and friendship that was so needed in that time, so I felt a little blind sided when the reactions to J.K. Rowling’s first 2019 tweet on this subject started coming in.
When I got that 40404 text message with a tweet that talked about dressing how you please, but women shouldn’t be fired for saying biological sex is real, I read it and thought, “Well, yeah, of course. This is completely logical. How could anyone disagree with this?” I had no idea what was coming. I had no clue about the Maya Forstater case or any of the growing concern around gender ideology. My position on any transgender issue was completely rooted in an unquestioning acceptance. If I supported my gay and lesbian friends and family, surely I had to accept this, because it’s the same thing, right? I had secret questions, of course. Ones that I never said out loud because you weren’t allowed to.
I began to feel so much anxiety over the hatred being shown to J.K. Rowling. Anxiety for her safety, anxiety that people might come to me and say, “Wow, that person you admire really turned out to be awful, didn’t she?”, anxiety that I wouldn’t know what to say because I was so ignorant on the issue. Sometimes I have a hard time recognizing the me of 2020 because I used to be afraid to “like” the wrong tweet, afraid to ask the questions we weren’t supposed to ask, and afraid to say J.K. Rowling’s name to the wrong person. At the time, I just wanted her to stop talking about it so the hatred towards her would stop and so my selfish anxiety could ease up.
I could no longer listen to PotterCast because all their episodes were now about how horrible and wrong J.K. Rowling was and how disappointed they were. I was nervous that some of my new Strike friends would want to talk about their disappointment, as well. I was worried that this thing that was bringing me a lot of happiness in a dark time would begin to feel ruined. And while there was certainly some of that, what I didn’t expect were the friendships that would eventually deepen by a shared sense of gratitude and admiration for J.K. Rowling. Seeing my new friends be able to say that they agreed with her, and watching J.K. Rowling continue to stand up to the relentless attacks, began to develop a sense of bravery in me that hadn’t been there before. I stopped being afraid to like the tweets, I stopped wanting to avoid the issue, and instead started enjoying J.K. Rowling’s tweets and wit. I decided to do what so many of J.K.R’s critics said should be done and began to educate myself. (As an aside, the irony of the ‘educate yourself’ comments never ceases to make me chuckle, because in my absolutely honest opinion, anyone who actually educates themselves will have no choice other than to agree with those terrible TERFs!)
As I said in our episode, I have mixed feelings about waiting this long to speak out on the podcast and express support for J.K. Rowling. On the one hand, it feels less important to do it now when so many others are doing so and when it sometimes feels like the tide is finally turning back to reality, but on the other hand, it would have been a very different kind of episode during which I would have had much less to say and much less confidence to say it. Ultimately, I’m very happy with our episode. I do not want to be one of those fan spaces that refuse to say her name, acknowledge her talent and give her the respect she deserves.
What it means to Stand With J.K. Rowling
One person sent me a DM asking me to clarify what it means to me when I say that I stand with J.K. Rowling, so if anyone else has that question, I want to be perfectly clear. Obviously, I’m a massive fan of her books – I think that goes without saying – but I’ve always admired her for other reasons as well. Her kindness by going on PotterCast (back before they decided she had the wrong opinion), was incredible. It remains, to this day, my favorite interview she’s ever done. For her to sit and talk with fans and to be just as excited as they were to discuss these characters was an absolute joy, and I don’t know of any other celebrity who has done something like that. I am blown away by the good she does in the world. She is the only person to have lost their billionaire status for giving away so much and founding charities. Charities that help research for MS (The Anne Rowling Foundation), that help children in orphanages (Lumos), fully funding a women’s rape crisis shelter (Beira’s Place), helping women escape the Taliban, funding legal cases for women fighting to retain their sex-based rights (The J.K. Rowling Legal Fund), and so much more. And now, her relentless bravery in standing up and doing the right things for the right reasons (wink wink my fellow Strike fans) no matter what it costs her.
I know she doesn’t like being put on a pedestal and she didn’t want fame, but I’m reminded of what Dumbledore said in Deathly Hallows:
“It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.”
A couple people have said we only hold this belief because we’re copying what J.K. Rowling says. I find this to be just another misogynistic way to dismiss a woman’s opinion, as if we don’t know our own minds. As if I, an almost 40 year old mother of two, needs my favorite celebrity to tell me how to think and what to believe.
Comments and DMs sent to me
Why I Agree with J.K.R and the TERFs
When it comes to exactly what I do think about this issue, I also want to be clear. One of the most common responses I’ve seen is that “Trans people just want to exist”, but this is an argument that I just don’t believe anymore. Anyone simply ‘wanting to exist’ doesn’t require complete and utter compliance from everyone else in order to do so. They don’t demand you ignore the reality of your own eyes, they don’t demand access to spaces they have no right to be in, they don’t push for the erasure of sex-based language, or for children to be permanently damaged by experimental drugs. They certainly don’t send rape and death threats to the women who refuse to comply.
I have seen people be hesitant to listen to gender-critical arguments because they believe they’re inherently anti LGBTQ+, far right, or hateful. You can be a left-leaning supporter of gay rights or homosexual yourself and also oppose gender ideology.
First of all, there is so much homophobia embedded into this ideology that I’m astounded that more people don’t see it. The majority of kids who experience gender dysphoria will grow up to be same-sex attracted and no longer feel dysphoric. Trans ideology is the new form of conversion therapy.
I’m eleven years older than my cousin Savannah and when she was a little girl, she was the biggest tom-boy I knew. She always wanted to be like one of the boys and constantly said that she either “was a boy” or “wanted to be a boy when she grew up.” Surprising very few, she came out as a lesbian in 2014 at the age of 18. It’s horrifying to me to think that if she was a child in today’s world, her school or other outside influences could have pushed her into a life she was never meant for.
Me and Savannah from God knows when
Studies have also shown that girls are experiencing gender dysphoria in increasingly high numbers over the years and it’s very concerning. Jamie Reed, the whistleblower in the US pediatric transgender center, has talked about how she was seeing girls come into clinics and repeating the same phrases – they were coaching each other on what to say in order to receive care. We’ve also learned that there are many co-morbidities associated with gender dysphoria such as autism, PTSD, sexual abuse, OCD, etc. The way to handle these cases is to NOT give them life-altering and permanent bodily changes, but to treat the reasons why they might feel dysphoric. Or for many people, just let them grow up.
One thing that has really changed within my own belief system is that despite trans culture being so intertwined with gay culture, it is not a sexuality, it’s a dysphoria and, given the evidence, I no longer believe it’s innate. Like any dysphoria, I understand that it is a real thing people experience and should be treated with empathy and understanding. But gender dysphoria is the only dysphoria that we are expected to unquestionably affirm or risk being labeled a bigot.
DMs sent to me
We are supposed to disregard the fact that most young people experiencing gender dysphoria grow out of it and end up being same-sex attracted. We are not allowed to conclude that the increasing numbers of people identifying as trans implies a social contagion. We are meant to ignore the studies that show the young women now identifying as trans are very often autistic, or that autogynephilia is a thing (google at your own risk), or that a young woman might want to escape her female-ness due to sexual abuse. NONE of this is supposed to be talked about. We are not supposed to think, for one second, that there might be another option, other than physically and permanently altering one’s body.
We would never tell someone with anorexia that they’re right that they’re fat and then give them Ozempic. We would never tell someone with BIID that they’re right, that they were meant to be born a paraplegic, and then sever their spinal cord. In these cases, we treat the dysphoria.
If someone eventually decides that appearing as the opposite sex is what helps them live a happy, healthy life (and respects the boundaries and reality of biological sex) then I have no problem with that, but I don’t believe that anyone is born in the wrong body.
I saw something on Twitter today that said “What TERFs say in public about trans people, they say in private about gay people.” This is absurd. I’ve always supported my gay and lesbian friends and family. To me and many others, transgender ideology is the exact opposite because, while being gay doesn’t affect other people at all, this ideology is having a very negative impact on so many people.
In addition to Jamie Reed mentioned above, others who have worked in gender affirming care have come forward to talk about the things they’ve seen and the concerns they have, such as Dr. Riittakerttu Kaltiala, who was the head of one of the first clinics in the world treating kids with gender dysphoria.
The Cass Report that came out of England a couple years ago has shown the damage that puberty blockers are having on children. The cross sex hormones always cause permanent damage, often including the loss of all sexual function.
I’ve seen so many de-transitioners talk about their experiences and how they feel lied to because these things happened to them as young people when they had no idea what the consequences were. And for the people who say this isn’t happening to young people, here is a video of an employee of Kaiser talking about giving a 12 year old girl “top-surgery” aka a double mastectomy.
One thing talked about a lot is the suicide rates for trans people, in particular the youth. A Swedish study shows that suicide rates actually increase after receiving gender affirming care, not decrease. In fact, it says that suicide rates are nineteen times higher after receiving gender affirming care than before.
One group that this ideology is affecting very negatively is children, but of course, it also negatively affects women.
What influenced J.K. Rowling to speak out in the first place was Maya Forstater losing her job because of her gender-critical views. No one should lose their livelihood because of their beliefs, even if others disagree, and this is happening to women all over the world. Sandie Peggy is a nurse who didn’t want to have to share the locker room with a trans-woman. Some women might say they don’t care, but consent cannot be given for others. There’s also Sall Grover who started a women only app and has been drawn into years of legal battle because a biological man was denied access. Amy Hamm, another nurse, lost her job after expressing support for J.K.R. So many women who work in the medical profession or academia are terrified of speaking out because they might lose their jobs. And then, of course, there’s the hatred and threats of violence women are faced with when speaking out.
I’ve only experienced a small bit of it, but the verbal abuse, the names, the threats are all normal to me now. For example, I recently had someone tell me that I probably have my kids chained up like Ruby Franke.
One woman on Tik Tok spoke out against Jeffery Marsh. Marsh is a Tik Toker who posts pretty questionable content – he identifies as non-binary, but makes videos directed at teens/kids and encourages them to speak to him privately without their parents knowing. The woman who spoke out had no interest in the transgender arguments, but was simply worried about Marsh targeting children and how suspect that behavior was. Within days, she posted a video of herself extremely upset and apologizing because the trans rights activists had found out where her children go to school and were threatening them. That is just what happens. J.K. Rowling has had people post her address and show up to her house. There were recent trans rallies to protest the recent UK Supreme Court ruling where they were chanting for J.K. Rowling to “be afraid”. They walk around with signs that say things like “Decapitate TERFS” or “Punch a TERF in the face” without consequence.
The discourse against gay and lesbian people has also been disgusting. They are told that they are transphobic and hateful to have a sexual orientation or ‘a genital preference’. Unsurprisingly, lesbians are often targeted with hateful, misogynistic attacks and told “suck my girl dick” or “You just need this girl dick“.
When it comes to sharing women’s spaces, there is often a lot of talk about bathrooms. Trans activists say “we just want to pee”, but it is so much more than that. First of all, even if the dispute WAS just about bathrooms, the stats show that unisex spaces are more dangerous for women.
If anyone knows who made this collage, please tell me so I can credit them!
All over the world, women are being forced to share what should be single sex spaces with biological men and, in some cases, this has led to women being harmed. The argument that it ‘doesn’t happen that much’ is one of the common responses. But how many women need to be harmed before it matters? How are so many people comfortable saying out loud that women’s safety, fairness, privacy and dignity is less important to them than men’s feelings?
Also, there’s the issue of women’s sports. Over 900 medals and prizes were awarded to men competing in women’s categories in 2024 alone. There are a ton of extremely informative videos at the Paradox Institute, but this one about the physical differences between men and women is phenomenal. It shows that even after hormone therapy, men retain an innate advantage.
Of course there are things that matter much more than sports. Biological men who claim to be women are being allowed in prisons, in rape crisis centers and women’s shelters all over the world, simply because they say they’re women. The women in those situations are extremely vulnerable and overwhelmingly likely to have already experienced male violence.
Trans-Identified Male Inmate in Women’s Prison Charged with Assaulting Female Staff
Unfortunately, there are so many more examples like this from all over the world. You can argue that most trans people are not dangerous, and I agree, but it’s the exact same argument we hear when we talk about any male violence: “Not all men!” We know it isn’t all men, but we have no way of knowing which men we need to watch out for. There is no evidence to show that men who identify as women pose less of a risk to women than any other male.
If anyone knows who made this collage, please tell me so I can credit them!
This isn’t about targeting trans people, it’s about protecting the vulnerable. Protecting vulnerable young people from life altering, negative medical procedures that will likely exacerbate their mental health problems and cause permanent physical damage. Protecting vulnerable women from being placed in situations with biological males and further traumatised. As Pools said in our recent episode – most of those who disagree about this matter want to protect vulnerable people: we’re just disagreeing on who the vulnerable people are.
Not that she’ll see this, but I want to end this post by thanking J.K. Rowling. Whether it’s counting down to her next novel, discussing them on our podcast, or laughing over her epic Twitter retorts, she has been an endless source of joy in my life and one of my biggest inspirations. I am proud to be able to say that #IStandWithJKRowling.
